uena | Can't cut things short (Reply)

Fanfiction is too long, so I have to post in in pieces. This is ridiculous. LJ has no idea what I'm capable of.

Here, you'll find the first part of it

Stranger than Fiction

Part2

The next morning began for Jensen at around ten o’clock, and when he lifted his head from his pillow, the smell of toast, bacon, and fresh coffee that reached his nose, made him jump out of bed immediately. He headed straight for the master bathroom and took a shower. Of course he had spent the night at Jareds’, and of course Jared was already up for at least three hours to do things morning-persons like him did that ridiculously early in the morning. Jensen went to the kitchen exactly fifteen minutes later, where he was greeted by bacon, and coffee, and toast but no Jared. Jensen figured his friend was outside with the dogs or something like that, and sat down at Jared’s kitchen table to enjoy his breakfast in silence. It was when he was finished half an hour later that he started to wonder where exactly Jared could be. He got up, left his dish in the sink, and went to the living room, where he half expected Jared to be sitting behind his laptop, reading more damn fanfiction. And that turned out to be exactly where he found him. Jared sat on the sofa, the laptop in his lap, his expressive eyes full of an emotion Jensen hadn’t seen in them so far. Was this disgust? Anger? Maybe even a little dread?

“What is it?” Jensen asked sympathetically, for he thought Jared had received some unwelcome news via e-mail, but when Jared looked up and stared at him, the thought entered Jensen’s mind that this was about something else.

“This is unbelievable,” Jared said, and his voice was a little hoarse, “How could anyone think that I would do something like that to you?”

Jensen felt like he had missed the most important part of Jared’s dilemma and came closer.

“How could anyone think that you would do something like what to me?”

Jared looked so utterly worried that Jensen was tempted to pat his head or something like that, but he restrained himself and sat down on the sofa next to him.

“Let me see.”

“No!”

Jared slammed the laptop shut, and Jensen began to feel really uneasy about this situation. Usually Jared would just laugh about the stories he found about the both of them, would tell Jensen the juiciest parts simply to embarrass him, and then forgot about them. Jensen had never seen him so worked up about a story before, and he didn’t like it at all.

“It’s just fiction, Jared,” he tried to calm his friend. “The girl who wrote this probably abused us for her sick fantasies, that’s all.”

Jared frowned.

“Yeah, but usually they manage to … well … this story was just particularly awful … and … and I wonder whether I might have done something that would make that girl think that I am … I am … such a total asshole.”

Jensen could tell that the idea alone made Jared completely miserable, so he put the laptop away and his arm around Jared’s shoulders.

“Dude, you gave me a PSP as a gift so we could play together – nobody in his right senses could possibly think you were anything else but the best friend ever.”

Jared turned his head to look at Jensen, and the expression in his eyes was a bit ambiguous.

“And now I want you to tell me what this crazy chick wrote, and what her penname is. No way I let her get away with this.”

Jared grinned a little and shook his head.

“I won’t tell you. You would get mad.”

“Dude, I am mad. You look miserable. Now tell me about that fuckin’ story!”

Jared finally gave in and let Jensen read the story, and the latter finally understood why Jared was so upset. The story really was nasty – very well written, that much Jensen had to admit, but at the same time very nasty.

“Good God,” Jensen exclaimed weakly when he had reached the end, and when he turned his head to look at Jared, he found himself anxiously watched by his best friend.

“She made me cuddle with Chad!”

Whatever Jared had expected him to say, it definitely hadn’t been that, and Jared couldn’t help it, he had to laugh a little.

“But you like Chad!”

“Not that much!” Jensen clarified and raised his right index finger. “But now I understand why you were so upset. She definitely got you all wrong – you wouldn’t share me with anyone if you had me at your disposal, last of all with Jeff!”

The laugh died in Jared’s eyes, and this time Jensen patted his head.

“Stop looking at me like that, Jay. You aren’t like this, and you should know that. Have you had anything for breakfast?”

Jared shook his head, and Jensen sighed.

“I guess I ate yours, then. Come on, I’ll fix you something.”

Jensen dragged Jared with him to the kitchen, made him sit down at the table, and produced him some scrambled eggs with bacon.

Even after breakfast Jared didn’t look like himself again, and Jensen had kind of run out of ideas what to do.

“Why is this bothering you so much?” Jensen asked tentatively, and Jared bit his bottom lip.

“I don’t know. I just felt so very guilty when I read how … how I didn’t care for your feelings at all and just … just thought of myself all the time … how it was just sex for me …”

Jensen could hardly believe what he was hearing.

“You can’t be serious! That wasn’t you, Jared, that was a character someone invented on the basis of … well, nothing actually. He wasn’t even remotely like you! If anyone tried to do these things to me, you would be the one coming to my rescue, for God’s sake! Stop thinking about it already!”

Jared said nothing in reply, he just got up and went back into the living room, and Jensen followed after he had put Jared’s dish in the sink to lend his own some company.

“Jared, please!”

Jensen stood in the doorframe; his arms were folded across his chest, and his face was a mixture between helplessness and frustration.

“Why can’t you let it go? Why even bother? If I took this whole fanfiction business as serious as you do, I would have declared my undying love for you years ago!”

Jared grunted something Jensen couldn’t understand, and he joined his friend on the sofa – once again.

“Repeat that.”

Jared refused, and Jensen rolled his eyes.

“Fine, keep moping then. I am going to watch some TV now.”

Several hours and an ordered evening meal later Jensen was very close to being bored to death. Jared had continued brooding over his non-existent problems with unnatural stamina, and though Jensen had more than once wondered what life would be like if Jared talked a bit less, life was unbearable when Jared did not talk at all. He would end this, he would end this now.

“We are going to get drunk!” he announced with fervour and got up from the sofa. “What do you have to offer, Padalecki?”

Jensen knew about the beer in the fridge, but that wouldn’t get them anywhere near drunk, they needed the hard stuff, something stronger … something like tequila.

“We can’t drink tequila,” Jared said weakly after Jensen had told him that they needed specifically this singularly popular beverage to get smashed.

“Why not?” Jensen asked dumbfounded, and sat down again.

He couldn’t think of anything that would justify this appalling statement.

“According to fanfiction, we do very gay things when we drink tequila,” Jared stated, and Jensen just stared at him.

“What?!”

“Have you got any idea how many stories there are, where we get drunk on tequila and have sex afterwards?!” Jared exploded. “No way I’m going to drink that stuff with you!”

Jensen blinked rapidly, then frowned.

“Now you’ve lost it completely, right? These are just stories, Jay. None of that will ever happen in real life.”

Like hours before, Jared grunted something Jensen didn’t quite get, but this time, he thought he might have heard something like “Yeah, rub it in” – and he stared again.

“What?!”

Jared blushed, and Jensen felt heat tickle through his body. This couldn’t be happening.

“Did you just say what I think you just said?” he stuttered hesitantly, and Jared bit his bottom lip and evaded his gaze.

“No,” he mumbled unconvincingly, and Jensen didn’t know what to do. Jared most evidently expected him to freak out and do a lot of shouting now, but he didn’t feel like it. This came so very sudden; Jensen didn’t know how to react, he didn’t even know what he felt. All he knew was that he wanted Jared to stop looking like that – like he was going to cry any second.

“But … but since when?” he finally managed to ask without the slightest touch of judgement in his voice, and Jared just shrugged his shoulders.

“Dunno,” he answered very quiet, “I’m sorry.”

Jensen’s eyes widened and he reached out to Jared and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t say that … never say that.”

He felt Jared’s muscles harden under his touch, but he didn’t take his hand away, he just left it there, and waited for Jared to look at him. Jensen had to wait a little while for Jared to do that, but he used that time quite well, calmed down as much at it was possible, and decided that this was nothing to worry about, he could deal with this, he could –

And then Jared looked at him, and Jensen leaned forward and they kissed. It was just the most natural thing to do. Their lips touched, Jensen felt Jared tremble, heard him moan helplessly, and all the awkwardness of the moment was overcome by the instant and overpowering desire to appease and delight. Jensen draped his arms around Jared, drew him close and held him, hushed every single groan that escaped Jared’s mouth with his lips, and let only go of him, when he noticed his own desire was at the brink of overcoming his willpower. This was amazing. Jensen licked his lips and stared into Jared’s eyes. He needed a few seconds to discover that Jared looked rather gloomy. He was so very emo, he reminded him very much of Sam to be honest.

“Why did you do that?”

Jensen tilted his head to the left. “Huh?”

“Why did you kiss me? I mean … that … I … you …”

Jared was much too charming stuttering away like that, and Jensen had to focus on Jared’s nose to keep his calm. It was the one feature of Jared’s face that was comparatively unmoving. Then Jared did something that made his nostrils quiver, and Jensen had to bite his tongue to stop himself from pouncing on him.

“I kissed you,” Jensen said very slowly, “because I wanted to.”

He held up his hand when Jared wanted to interrupt, and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“I know this comes unexpected – believe me, I’m about as surprised as you are, but … well, I bet there are dozens of stories in which it happens just like this, aren’t there?”

Jensen opened his eyes to look at Jared and watch him nod in unbelieving wonderment.

“You mean you –“

Jared seemed unable to cope with the situation. Jensen wanted to cuddle him.

“Yes, I believe I mean I –,“ he answered with a sly grin, touched Jared’s soft lips with his fingertips and drew a deep breath.

“God, I knew this mouth had to be made for more than just talking …” he groaned, leaned forward again, closed Jared’s mouth with his own and made a pleased noise, when Jared opened his mouth for him and invited his tongue. Jensen needed nothing more than that to leave possible scruples behind him, he pressed Jared to his back got on top of him and kissed the hell out of him. It just felt so very right. He felt the tension in Jared melt away with every subsequent kiss, felt him relax, and loosen up, and enjoy their new way of encounter, and Jensen’s face was lit up with a smile when he finally lifted his head to look down at Jared.

“This is why you were so flustered after reading that story, isn’t it? You were jealous!”

Jared blushed and Jensen started to laugh. “You are unbelievable.”

Jensen’s voice was warm and full of affection, and Jared blushed some more.

“I wasn’t jealous,” Jared defended himself, “It was just … you were so very … so very helpless in that damn piece of fiction and … I started thinking about … about what I would do if someone did these horrible things to you … and … I … I just got so angry, you know?”

“You are aware of the fact that I am all grown up and very well able to defend myself?” Jensen ventured, and Jared pouted a little.

“Yes, Jen, I know that. But still. I started to wonder if you would allow me to … to comfort you … to … to hold you … a-and …” Jared stopped himself and bit his bottom lip, and when his gaze met Jensen’s, Jensen seemed at a loss at what to say.

“You,” Jensen finally said and his voice shook a little, “are unbelievably cute. I can’t believe it took me so long to figure that out. You are the tallest, strongest, most masculine girl that has ever walked the face of the earth.”

Jensen put his hand to Jared’s cheek, let his thumb stroke over Jared’s bottom lip that stuck out in a charming, irresistible pout, and tilted his head a little to the left. “Or aren’t you?” he purred.

He smacked his lips as he saw Jared shiver, leaned forward for another kiss, and all but squeaked when Jared groped his butt in a very sudden, very assaulting manner.

“You are an ass,” Jared whispered against his lips and gave him a quick kiss, “I might have known that you would make fun of it …”

Jensen tried to distract his own attention from the feeling of Jared’s gigantic hands against his buttocks and closed his eyes for a second – which was a mistake.

“And you can make fun of it as much as you like … now you have started this I’m not planning on letting it end that quickly …”

Jared sounded as sincere as death, and when Jensen opened his eyes once again, Jared looked at him like … like he was really, really honest to heart happy. Jensen almost burst with the sudden need to reassure that this look would never vanish from Jared’s face ever again.

“Less talking, more kissing,” he blurted out, pressed his mouth to Jared’s, and kissed him like his life depended on it. It was when Jared’s arms closed around him and he turned their kiss into something gentle, something soft, and caring, and comforting, that Jensen finally understood why he had needed this more than anything.

He would allow Jared to comfort him when he felt sad, would allow him to hold him when he needed support – and that meant much more than he had ever thought it would.

The End